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Kerry King
Kerry King is Dave Lombardo's BESTEST FRIEND EVER and lives with him in his house BECAUSE DAVE LOVES HIM SO FUCKING MUCH AND HE LOVES DAVE. One of his favorite foods is dried macaroni, which he eats out of a bowl he brings with him everywhere he goes. It is rumored his house smells like bears. Kings and Driving Kerry King took Driver's Ed. nine times before he finally was able to complete it (more to his teacher being fed up rather than his actual command of any actual driv (left) and the King. BESTEST FRIENDS EVER.]]ing knowledge). A notable moment is: Teacher: *holds up exam* Okay. You've been here for nine years now. This is something that I would have expected from you the first year. And the second year. And maybe the third. But not the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth and especially not the ninth. There were twenty-four questions on this test and you take it every year. For the first one, it asked "What do you do at a stop sign?" and you put....."Sofacheese". SOFACHEESE. Kerry King: I like sofacheese! Teacher: Now, here's what really worries me. For the next twenty-one questions, you put "I have to pee", "I have to pee", "I have to pee", "I have to pee"... Then on the twenty-third you put "oops." Then for the last question, you put "Forts are fun shit." What happened? Kerry King: Forts ARE fun shit! Another notable moment in Kerry King driving history can be summed up like so: Dave: THAT WAS A STOP SIGN! Kerry King: Um............no? It is also notable that he cannot even be trusted in a parked car, which Dave found out once when he left Kerry King in the car while he went into the grocery store and came back to find Kerry King sitting in the center of a blackened spot on the pavement clutching a steering wheel, which was all that was left of the car. Kerry King's Favorite Words and Phrases Kerry King loves the word "no", and there are two main ways that he uses it. One is an aggressive "N'WOH!" which increases in volume depending on how angry he is at the time. The other is a more questioning, "....no?" Another thing you will hear from Kerry King more often than not is "WOO!", which is an expression of joy or triumph. And no one is in doubt that he loves "sofacheese", though only he really knows what sofacheese really is. Housing Though Kerry King owns his own house (which he has referred to as smelling like "bears"), he usually stays with his friend, Dave Lombardo (much to Dave's chagrin, though Kerry King seems oblivious to that). No matter where Dave goes, Kerry King is able to follow. Even if Dave takes every precaution possible to assure The King stays behind. Dave has also tried to get rid of Kerry King on many occasions, but no matter what, that King just keeps coming back. (Even when he was shipped to Africa) King Quotes "AWWWESOMMME!!!!!!!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "He returns! Bearing gifts! Those are for us but mostly me, right?" "......Is it because I'm black?" "THAT'S THE SHITTING FUCK!!!" "NO MORE MUD TIPPING!!!" "Forts are fun shit!" (singing in the tune of the Spiderman theme) "Spider King, Spider King....Does whatever a Spider King does!" (singing in the tune of Black Sabbath's 'Iron Man') "I AM KERRY MAN! DO DO DO DO DO DO DO, KERRY MAN!" Category:Things that make us overly obnoxious